(no subject)

I miss seattle.
I miss Washington.
I miss my brother.
I miss Alisa.
And her brother Johnny.
life was so good then.
summer.
love.
lust.
friends.
I quit smoking.
But, then I started again.
Yesterday my whole body was shaking, I needed one so bad.
I need to get drunk.
I gained weight. a lot of weight. I can tell.
and it sucks.

For my 16th birthday my dad is letting me get a tattoo.
two more years.

I have a feeling this vacation is going to suck.

(no subject)

I have two detentions.
w/ Brooke Differ.
We were late for class three days in a row.
Johnny has one tomorrow, too.
My sister is being gay tonight.
She was home all day, and didn't do anything.
& as soon as I come home, which is like, 6 something. My dad goes on the computer, for like, an hour. Then, I go on, and she kicks me off after two seconds. She has to type up some themes. She waits until I'm home to do her homework.
She's never go to make it to college. Unless she gets her act together. I highly doubt she will, though.
She's such a fucking dissapointment to this family.
I want my parents to disown her and throw her out of the house.
I bet they wouldn't be so stressed all the time.
Especially my mom.
So yeah, then I get a phone call from Liz. & I talked to her.
Katies friend beeps in.
Normally, I would tell them I'm on the phone.
But, I give it to Katie.
And she takes over the phone.
& she said I have the computer until nine.
I got on at 8:43.
Wow.

(no subject)

Today was Valentines Day.
Johnny got me a teddybear w/ a balloon attached. Candles w/ a heart shaped holder. Chocolate. & a rose.
He's amazing.
He liked his present.
I got him this neat little pink creature.
A Nirvana shirt that someone stole from him at the mall a while ago.
I made him a mixtape.
I wrote him a love letter.
I got him chocolate& a card.
♥.
I love him.
I'm so happy.
Even though I cry too much over him. & I hate crying.
like when.
he ditches me.
for Drew Jonston.
fucker.
Anyway.
Last weekend was okay.
Friday night sucked.
Johnny ditched me.
for the.. 3rd?4th time.
I walked around town by myself, crying, until 10pm.
I came home.
Then snuck out.
and went to Johnnys.
I had a little talk with him.
I could tell I made him guilty.
Which is what I wanted.
He made me feel like shit.
Anyway.
Saturday was better.
I went shopping with my mom&sister.
Came home, and went to Johnnys.
Sunday was ehh.
I spent the day with Liz Williams. I'll post pictures after this.
Alx, Liz, Brooke, and I had to cook a bunch of civil war shit for an English project. SO, we cooked all day.
& That night me and Liz went to Johnnys basketball game. They won.
Today, I met up with Johnny after his detention.
We went to my house. I gave him his present. Then we walked around downtown. & then went to his house. I got my present. Now, here I am.
.

(no subject)

                                                      

Crying makes my eyes sting.Today sucked. I cried too much. I thought about doing some horrible things too much. Why am I the way I am? Why do I need that special drug to keep me going everyday? I hate it. I want to be normal. I want to be independant. Do I deserve any of this? I thought I was something special.

 

So, I tried taking a lot of pictures of myself to keep me from crying. It didn't help much. But, just to enterain you guys. Here are some of the ugliest pictures of a girl named Kelsi Poh.

 

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